Are we here to see the queen? - Apparently yes!
by Teatime87
Summary: What will happen if Sherlock meets the Queen?


p style="text-align: left;"„I still don't get it." Sherlock looks at John cluelessly in the mirror that hangs over the fireplace while he drapes the black tie around the turned up collar of his plain white /br /John straightens his suit jacket for what feels like the millionth time and looks up at Sherlock briefly. "Sherlock, we're debating about this since you received the letter. That's a special invitation, even you have to admit that."br /br /Sherlock huffs in disdain. "I already visited the Buckingham Palace."br /br /"Yeah, but this time you're going to meet the queen."br /br /"So? As far as I know she also puts her trousers on one leg at a time."br /br /John rolls his eyes and steps up next to Sherlock. He looks into the mirror to fix his hair. "I don't get why you are so down on that tie", he mumbles while he tries to fix a few unmanageable /br /"I'm not down on /that/ tie, I'm down on ties in general. They frustrate me. Dogs get something tied around their neck, but I'm not a dog, John!"br /br /"Mh, let's see … dogs are tame, loyal, attached to their humans and almost kind of sympathetic. You're right. You're not a dog."br /Sherlock falters while he did his tie, glaring at John. John smirks and walks around his chair into the kitchen. He knows that Sherlock looks after him piqued which makes him grin even more. "Would you like a cuppa before we dash off?"br /br /He only heard the rustling of Sherlock's clothing while he tied the tie, getting no answer. John just put on the kettle when the door bell rings. He raises his eyebrows in surprise as he looks on his watch. "Is that Mycroft already? He's early."br /br /"I'd prefer to take a cab", Sherlock says as he stops in the doorway to the kitchen. John smiles when he notices the perfect knotted tie. "And what if we don't catch a cab and arrive too late? Not to mention the fact that this would be extremely rude on the queen, Mycroft would get a heart attack."br /br /Sherlock shrugs his shoulders. "I could live with both."br /br /John chuckles as the door bell rings again. "We should go now or Mycroft really will get a heart attack."br /br /He hands Sherlock his coat and puts on his own jacket. They hear voices as they walk downstairs and then see Mycroft who talks to Mrs Hudson. Or Mrs Hudson rather tries to soothe Mycroft a /br /She smiles at the new arrivals. "Aw, you look lovely!"br /br /Sherlock tugs at his collar unnerved and meets his brother's eyes. His features are cool and arrogant as always but Sherlock almost believes to make out a faint excited shade of pink on his brother's /br /The older Holmes looks pointedly on his watch. "We really should leave now, the traffic is hellish around these hours of the day."br /br /Mrs Hudson steps up at Sherlock and straightens his tie. "Oh I almost feel like it would be me who meets the queen."br /br /Sherlock rolls his eyes. "I'd give you the advantage."br /br /"Please excuse my brother", Mycroft interferes with a weird smile that vanishes when he looks at Sherlock. "He has no appreciation for the honor of this invitation."br /br /"Oh please", Sherlock spat, but before he can continue, John interferes. "Right. And I think we should really leave now, hellish traffic this afternoon, remember?"br /br /"Right", Mycroft nods and heads /br /Mrs Hudson smiles at Sherlock. "This is your great day, try to enjoy it at least a bit."br /br /"It's my great day when I solve a complicated case in record time. This is nothing but a waste of time."br /br /Mrs Hudson looks at John, seeking help to cheer Sherlock up, but he already surrendered and waves his hand dismissively. br /br /John follows Sherlock into the black car that the good doctor always associates with Mycroft. Inside are four seats, two opposite the other two. John pulls the door close and the car pulls /br /"Sherlock, I expect your best behavior", Mycroft says as Sherlock looks out of the window stubbornly. "We'll be guests of Her Majesty, the queen, and I don't want it to end in a disaster."br /br /"Yes, mother", Sherlock scoffs and looks at his brother in disdain. "Why is that so damn important to you?"br /br /"Sherlock, you get invested with the MBE! That's a great honor!", John interposes and turns to look at his /br /"It's not. It's a piece of metal on a ribbon!"br /br /"Many important people already received this piece of metal on a ribbon, Sherlock. You should feel honored to be one of them."br /br /"Important people? A Chinese who hops through a few films is important for you?"br /br /"Jackie Chan."br /br /"Whatever his name is!" Sherlock stares at John in disbelief. "And a cook. A /cook/ … how can a cook be important?"br /br /"A tv cook", John /br /"Dear heavens", Sherlock mumbles and runs a hand through his hair. "This is no honor, it's a … humiliation."br /br /"Where do you even know these names from?", John /br /"The internet."br /br /John chuckles. "And I feared you'd be even more insufferable with arrogance today", John teases and /br /Sherlock shoots him a glare. "Oh please."br /br /"Sherlock is only interested in things when they are about him and about him only", Mycroft says. "If it would be a Sherlock-Holmes-medal you'd love it, wouldn't you?"br /br /"You're being ridiculous."br /br /"Did you already have the opportunity to meet the queen?", John asks the older /br /"Once, a few years ago. Unfortunately I had no opportunity to greet the queen or even talk to her."br /br /"Then it's a great day for you too, huh?", John /br /Sherlock huffs. "Why do you say "too"? It's not for me."br /br /"A very great day", Mycroft answers and decides to ignore his little /br /Silence falls and when the car eventually stops, they all get /br /***br /br /The hall is huge and the walls seem to be endless. The furniture is exquisite, but a bit outdated and kitschy for Sherlock's liking. The hall is full of people chatting quietly. Sherlock notices the cameras and stops dead. "Press?", he hisses glaring at /"Of course", he /br /"I won't answer stupid questions of these even stupider wannabe journalists."br /br /"Sherlock, I warn you, don't cause trouble, not today", Mycroft hisses and John interferes once again. "Don't worry. Everything is going to be fine."br /br /Mycroft shoots him a look before he turns and walks away. br /br /John exhales audibly and looks at Sherlock. "Do you think you can manage a few hours without deductions and cynic comments?"br /br /Sherlock grimaces. "Not really."br /br /"I knew it", John sighs and braces himself for the following /br /At first Sherlock stays in the background with John but it doesn't take long until one of the journalists notice him. br /br /"Sherlock Holmes!", a rather small newsman calls and shakes Sherlock's hand with a wide smile. "And you must be his companion John Watson."br /br /"Yeah, hello", John /br /"I'd like to ask you a few questions", the journalist says. Sherlock rolls his eyes and looks over at John. He looks at him as if he's trying to say 'At least try it'. Sherlock sighs. "Alright."br /br /"How do you feel on a day like this?"br /br /"I feel like on every other day", Sherlock /br /"So you're not excited at all to meet the queen?"br /br /That/ question again. What is so special about it? How could he make it clear that he just isn't excited? "You know, if here would be a nice interesting corpse, a cruel murder with mysterious symbols that leads to a secret underground organization, /then/ I'd be excited. This all here is so exciting like reaming leftovers from you dinner out of your mouth."br /br /John closes his eyes and rubs the bridge of his /br /"Um, yes .." Sherlock looks at the guy. "What I'm trying to say is, that I'm not excited to meet the queen."br /br /"Al-right", the newsman says slowly, making a pause. "Then I have a question to your work. These deductions, as you call them … what's the trick about it?"br /br /Sherlock furrows his eyebrows. "That's not a trick. Compared to the rest of the people I'm just able to use my brain."br /br /"He's clever", John says quickly, trying to remedy the /br /The guy looks between the two of them and then nods slightly. "Did you learn this ability or were you some kind of … child genius?"br /br /"None of that."br /br /The journalist looks at him puzzled. "What then?"br /br /"Use your brain, maybe you'll conceive it. John … I'm thirsty, I'll see if I can get myself something to drink. Join me?" Before he even finished the sentence he already walked away. John smiles weakly at the newsman. "Yes, he's always like that." Then he turns on his heels and follows his flat /br /"Is it so hard for you to simply answer a few questions?", John mumbles when he had caught up on /br /"I did answer, didn't I?", he says /br /John sighs and leaves it be for now. He could also talk to a wall. He stops and tugs Sherlock's arm gently. "Wait. There you can get something to drink." He points at a /br /Sherlock huffs and stops in front of a cabinet, looking at his reflection. "I only said that to escape these boring questions." He tugs at the tie again. "I have to get rid of this thing or I'll hang myself with it!" He loosens the tie and pulls it over his head, then opens the first button of his shirt. br /br /"That's better", he /br /Suddenly Mycroft appears at his side. "Get dressed Sherlock!"br /br /"I'm dressed enough,  
Mycroft. You better be glad about what I'm wearing, I don't mind to wander around here naked if you care to remember."br /br /John couldn't help but grin at the memory. "I think we can't force him to wear a tie", John supported his friend and Mycroft looks at him disdainfully, then back at his brother. "That always has been your problem, Sherlock, your lack of discipline."br /br /Suddenly it gets quiet around them. A man in a uniform asks them to take a seat in the first row. They did and it got deadly quiet when the premier minister and the queen enter the room. The people rise from their seats except of Sherlock. He looks around and finds everyone stood up. He sighs and gets up too, straightening his suit. The premier minister steps up to the speaker's desk while the queen sits down in a chair at the left. Then they all sit back down /br /"I'm glad to welcome you all here to honor a man who fights in a world of violence and injustice for law and order without expecting something in return", the premier minister /br /Sherlock's lips twitch in amusement. Law and order … in the first place he did it to not be bored to /br /The premier minister continues with the history of the presentation of the medal, which Sherlock finds incredibly boring. He slowly leans over to John. "How long does this take?", he /br /"Shh", John answers and listens very carefully, as if the premier minister would talk about elementary revelations. br /br /Sherlock tries to focus on the speech. It was old, used, probably a few centuries old, never changed much. What do they find so fascinating about it?br /br /The premier minister eventually talks about Sherlock's work, what he does, how he does it and how it served England. Sherlock wonders what he mentioned there when the TV cook sat /br / "And now", he finally finishes, "I have the honor to invest you, Mr Holmes, the MBE in recognition of the British people!"br /br /Sherlock stands up, buttoning up his suit jacket and approaches the queen, who smiles at him. She hands him a small black casket. Inside is the medal, a silver commander cross that beares an inscription "For God and The Empire". It hangs on a two finger wide red ribbon. He also gets an official document and he turns to the people with both things in hand, followed by a flurry of camera /br /Sherlock then holds a short acceptance speech, words that John drilled into him and insisted to give the speech. He threatened to take his samples that he stores in the fridge and throw them away, at a place where even he wouldn't find them anymore. John has been very convincing and he preferred to say those stupid words than to fear for his samples every /br /After he finished, Sherlock turns to the queen and shakes the offered /br /"I'm very impressed to meet such a courageous and active young man. Who's accompanying you?"br /br /Sherlock gestures to John and Mycroft, who step closer. "This is Mycroft, my brother, and John Watson, my colleague."br /br /They both shake her hand and Mycroft says: "It's a great honor to meet my queen and I want to assure her my deepest devotion."br /br /Sherlock avoids the urge to roll his eyes. The queen turns to Sherlock. "Tell me, what is the trick?"br /br /"There is no trick, your majesty, I simply observe and draw my conclusions. For example I observed that you shifted from one foot on the other during the speech of the premier minister, as if it would cause you pain to stay in one position for a longer time. But you didn't ask for a chair, probably because the pain when you sit would be even worse than the pain you feel while standing. Most likely caused by problems with your joints or hip, but with all due to respect, you're rather fit and nothing have been in the papers about her majesty the queen suffering from pain in her joints. The British people are always well informed about the health situation of their queen, if I'm allowed to mention. But obviously something is bothering you. So it must be something you keep a secret because it would be rather unpleasant if everybody knows about it. And that is the final clue to solve the mystery."br /br /The queen looks at him motionlessly and Mycroft suddenly feels very hot. "This, uh…what my brother is trying to say is that-"br /br /The queen raises her hand to stop Mycroft and looks at Sherlock. "Go ahead."br /br /"The clue", he repeats. "You suffer from haemorrhoids. That's why you didn't want to sit down and it's rather unpleasant, isn't it?"br /br /John stares at Sherlock with his mouth open and Mycroft buries his face in his /br /The queen looks at Sherlock for a moment and then a small smile appears on her face. She slowly turns around, heading to an exit before she disappears behind a large /br /"Sherlock", Mycroft whispers and lets his hands sink down, revealing his face that is distorted with rage. "Have you completely lost your mind?!"br /br /"It was obvious!", he yells back. "The queen has haemorrhoids, that is the only solution!"br /br /Sherlock didn't notice how quiet it became around them. People are staring at him stunned. Sherlock clears his throat and suddenly he gets shoved out of the room. He didn't complain at /br /***br /br /With narrowed eyes Sherlock looks at the medal, magnifier in hand and bent over the kitchen table. John just enters the kitchen when he spots Sherlock. "What are you doing?", he asks and steps closer. "Oh. Do you finally start to like it?", he smiles when he sees the medal. He gets a cup out of the cabinet and pours himself a cup of /br /"No", Sherlock mumbles. "I just use it for the one thing it's good enough for."br /br /John lifts the cup to his lips. "And what is that?"br /br /Sherlock turns on the Bunsen burner and holds the medal over the flame by the help of a large tweezer. "Experiments, John."br /br /p 


End file.
